A large portion of the population completely misunderstands the concept of ‘introversion’. They conflate ‘introversion’ with shyness, social anxiety, low self-esteem and many other negative characteristics. Extroversion, meanwhile, is considered a synonym for emotional health and well-being. Due to this conceptual misapplication, there’s a misguided notion that introverts have trouble meeting women and getting a girlfriend while extroverts excel at it. That’s simply not the case.
A good understanding of what typifies an ‘introvert’ will make it obvious that they have no problem meeting and attracting women. In fact, they may be better at it than their extroverted counterparts, and learning how to get a girlfriend as an introvert may not be as challenging as some would have you believe.
It’s also important to keep in mind that introversion and extroversion aren’t ‘gender specific’–in other words, it’s as common among women as it is among men. That being said, there’s no reason that a successful relationship has to orient along these lines. In many cases, pairing an extrovert with an introvert works out very well since they can ‘balance out’ each others social interaction traits.
UNDERSTANDING WHAT INTROVERSION REALLY MEANS
The concept of ‘introversion’ and ‘extroversion’ first became popular through the writings of Carl Jung, who used the terms to explain how certain people interacted with the world around them. Another mistaken notion about introversion and extroversion is that the traits exist at either end of a behavior continuum. Jung and many of his colleagues felt otherwise, suggesting that all people had a blend of extroverted and introverted characteristics.
The terms essentially refer to an individual’s preferred cognitive focus. An extrovert prefers to focus on the external world. He finds being around other people energizing and might have a tendency to ‘get bored’ when alone.
By contrast, the introvert’s focus is on the internal–he finds his own thoughts and ‘inner life’ more energizing and satisfying than the external world. This focus doesn’t mean that he’s socially awkward around others. To the contrary, he is quick to get bored in social situations that are primarily superficial.
MISUSE OF THE TERMS IN POPULAR CULTURE
At some point, the terms ‘introversion’ and ‘extroversion’ began to be misused by the mainstream media and the general public. ‘Introversion’ became a synonym for shyness, social anxiety, agoraphobia, and even mild autism. ‘Extroversion’ was used to describe people that were self-confident, charismatic, poised, charming, and so forth.
Ironically, the reality of the traits is diametrically opposed from the public
perception. Extroverts are sometimes uncomfortable with themselves and can only feel validated through their relationships with others. Introverts, on the other hand, are often exceptionally self-confident preferring to spend time alone as they usually think it’s ‘superior company’.
The misunderstanding of what these terms mean is the only reason that the perception of introverts as ‘awkward around women’ exists at all. The extrovert might have a marginal advantage in meeting women due to sheer numbers. He puts himself in large groups of people on a more regular basis.
After the initial meeting, however, the extrovert can sometimes be at a disadvantage in developing intimacy with a woman. At this point, the introvert is at his best. He can introduce a woman to ‘his world’ and focus all of his charm directly on her.
BALANCE MAKES THE WORLD GO AROUND
Introverts and extroverts each have strengths and weaknesses that manifest in many areas of life. Neither personality type is inherently good or bad, and the concepts surrounding them are obviously generalizations.
When it comes to attracting, dating, and forming relationships with women, there’s nothing about either personality type that makes them better or worse than the other.